Another day, another experience (or perhaps the same one?)

First of all, let me say that the feeling of a true flashback is more awkward than what I expected. I used to “fabricate” my own flashbacks from the memories that I used to have when I was in my moment of euphoria, when I couldn’t distinguish friend from foe…

But now, I can recall that night on December 23rd, I was sitting on a bus, destined to go and face my parents after the shouting, the screaming and doing my own will of going to on vacations with my ex girlfriend, disregarding any opinion or sense that my parents had brought upon me. I had this (now old) cell phone, the music on and tried to listen to it until I fell asleep. Yet, I couldn’t find the rest that I yearned for, I was far away from God’s will and I couldn’t find comfort or peace anywhere, not talking to the person I could call my mentor nor listening to the most relaxing music I had at the time.

Those were my most asphyxiating 21 hours of my life, the exasperation in my mind was intolerable, the fear kept me awake until my body could give no more and the remorse came to me like a wrecking hammer upon my head, which little by little, cracked my resistance, leaving me on a mentally catatonic state.

The days passed and I had the two worst weeks of any winter I could ever have, most of my day was scheming how to apologize for the great mistakes I had committed, my nights were full of tears and finding a phone to call long distance or a decent internet connection to be able to “negotiate” the terms of my apology for something that in the end was not worth apologizing. I took the blame and the fall for the traumas that she had, and since then, the manipulation and the things got worse...

Nevertheless, here’s where my story actually begins and here’s where the true “flashback” starts. Yesterday, I grabbed a book called “The Holiness of God” by R.C Sproul. That book was given to me by my aunt, in hopes that it would ease my burden and open my eyes into a truth that I couldn’t see at the moment, but that was clear for everyone beside me.

The book, was in fact a good read. I scanned through every single one of the pages on less than a night, with the same music that had brought torment upon me. But this time, it was different. I could see clearly some of the things that God wanted for my life, but still refused to let go of the lifestyle that I had been living. You may ask yourself why a convert with full conviction and full knowledge of what God wants for him wouldn’t choose the path of righteousness and abandon sin altogether. It’s most of a simple matter, at the time it was easier for me, but the truth is that right now I can see the mistakes of my ways and I’m repented for that. Thankfully the Lord has had mercy of me and I have been able to go through many struggles relatively unscathed, the worst that I’ve had are some traumas that right now I’m finally being able to cope with.

Returning to yesterday night, I finally found the courage to read the book again, and curiously play the same music. The feelings came to me, as a remembrance of the things I must not repeat and as a reminder of the mercy that the Lord had for me at that moment. And now, after a bit of writing I realize that I have never been alone, that I’ve been put to trial by fire and that many of the things that were at the time are no more.

For all I can say right now is that I’m thankful and glad that God in all his holiness and righteousness had mercy and love for me, the undeserving by my own right...

The Start of a Journal

Starting out

I’ve remembered since a few days ago that I had a blog. Now, with the help of some toys and a nice little app, I can manage the journal of my life, as I had intended to…

Starting from the beginning, I decided to keep a journal as a way to express what I think about life and to be able to see the changes that I have in a short, middle and long term. It all started when a person that had a lot of influence in my life told me that she didn’t remember a lot of things, so she kept a journal, but instead of going out and writing for the public, she wrote in the commodity of her bed using no more than a lock-secured notebook and a pen.

As the summer passes, I have been noticing that there are a lot of things that I haven’t been paying attention to. Some of those things are important, such as reading the Scriptures or focusing myself to learn new things during the much boring time of my vacations.

Now, you would have already figured out that I’m not the most social person in the world, and that perhaps, I’m even paranoid at thinking that some of my enemies might be watching this as I post it on the free world of the internet. But as I said to a friend “it’s better to be clear and transparent”.

And today hasn’t really been much, just a day of upgrading the computer, watching my family, eating spaghetti, reading the Bible and watching how people behave and how I have changed throughout this last 10 months. It seems that either I was charmed by the love I had to one person and this is again my normal, stable state; or I did change, and I hope I did for the best.

Now, it is time to sleep, I’ll continue my chronicles tomorrow, after a few tweaks to my blog security ;)

Reflections in an apathy day

I see people around me, see them in their everyday lives. How can they be so happy? How can the foolishly see the world and think everything is alright when suffering charges at the world with all it's might?

In some point of my life I envied them, envied their blindness and their apparent happiness... But the point of this is not drowning in sorrow and despair, falling in the endless pit of apathy; to the contrary, is keeping the resolve, which may be hard in a first instance, but in the end rewards.

Until then, until the race is finished and the witnesses see the truth, I shall and must stand relentless, no matter what happens, no matter what is in front of my path, for the Lord shall be with me...

¿Qué es SOPA y PIPA?

¿Qué es SOPA y PIPA?

Ambos son iniciativas de ley en Estados Unidos en relación a la piratería y el copyright en Internet. Ambas leyes están respaldadas por la industria cinematográfica y musical de E.U.A, sin embargo, restringen la posibilidad del uso libre de internet.

PIPA:

Significa Protect IP Act (Ley de Protección de IP). Fue propuesta en el senado de E.U.A el 12 de mayo de 2011 por los senadores Patrick Leahy, Orrin Hatch y Chuck Grassley. De acuerdo a 1stwebdesigner PIPA es una propuesta basada en una ley fallida llamada COICA del 2010

Si esta ley pasa, las corporaciones y el gobierno Estadounidense tendrá el poder para tomar acciones legales en contra de cualquier sitio que consideren que infringe el copyright. Básicamente da poder de forzar a los proveedores de internet para que bloqueen el acceso a los sitios que consideren.

También da el poder para proceder legalmente en contra de buscadores (Google, Bing, Yahoo, etc), sitios de blog, directorios o cualquier sitio de modo que se elimine cualquier enlace a los sitios que el gobierno considera dentro de su lista negra.  Finalmente tendrán el poder de demandar a cualquier sitio que consideren que no está haciendo un buen trabajo al prevenir la violación de Copyright.

SOPA:

Significa Stop Online Piracy Act (Ley Para Detener la Piratería en Línea), es una iniciativa de ley de la Cámara de Representantes de los Estados Unidos propuesta por el representante Lamar Smith el 26 de Octubre de 2011. Al igual que PIPA, sopa se encuentra hecha bajo una legislación previa, el PRO-IP act de 2008.

Esta iniciativa de ley se hizo de modo que funcionara junto con PIPA y en pocas palabras da el poder para hacer una lista negra de sitios, proveyendo al gobierno con herramientas como forzar a los proveedores de DNS, motores de búsqueda, servidores y sitios de pago a no tener contacto alguno con los sitios web que a su criterio infrinjan el copyright.

Lo que es peor, da poder a las corporaciones privadas para que creen listas de sitios que sienten que rompen sus políticas de copyright y contactar con los sitios que procesan sus transacciones de modo que corten todo su financiamiento. Además, dichos sitios de proceso de transacciones podrán bloquear el acceso a cualquier sitio que use sus servicios mientras que ellos consideren que violen copyright.

¿Cómo te afecta?

Para las personas que vivimos en Latinoamérica, esto nos podrá parecer algo trivial, pues es un asunto de ley de E.U.A. Sin embargo, debemos de recordar varias cosas:

1.       Muchos de los sitios web que usamos tienen su base en E.U.A (Google, Facebook, Amazon, Blogger, etc.)

2.       El contenido que publicamos es global, de modo que cualquier sitio que podamos tener y que se considere que infrinja copyright puede ser “tirado” del internet

3.       Mucha parte de la innovación, tanto musical como tecnológica depende de internet

4.       Si esta ley pasa, puede ser el inicio para otras iniciativas de ley similares en el continente y en el mundo, las cuales violan nuestra libertad de expresión.

¿Qué puedes hacer?

Si no vives en Estados Unidos, lo mejor es informarse y compartir la información,  además dejo anexa una lista de empresas que apoyan las leyes, de modo que se pueda tomar acción en donde más les afecta, en sus ventas. Este tipo de acciones ha funcionado anteriormente tomando como ejemplo Godaddy.com, un sitio de dominios de internet que retiró su apoyo después del boicot de sus clientes.

Lista: https://sites.google.com/site/boycottsopasponsors/home/list-of-supporters-and-sponsors

Edit: Gracias Brenda Carranza Por la Corrección

A few experiences

Hello Internet:

Yesterday a good friend recommended me a good book, Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller in which he talks about the experiences of his life on Christianity explaining the development of his life with God.

After a while of reading and analyzing the book, it comes to me that we are indeed flawed, that we do try to fight against our own nature, and that fight cannot be won on our own. The hard part is accepting that we focus to much on ourselves and that the self image we have is completely the opposite of what we usually think as we consider ourselves to be good persons in an everyday basis, but still live in conformity thriving for commodity (which brings me to mind the song Kingdom of Comfort from Delirious?). The fact is we are indeed prideful and we think we are above God's grace, only to find out that we keep struggling and following a cycle...

Quoting: "I will obey God because I love God. But if I cannot accept God's love, I cannot love Him in return, and I cannot obey Him. Self-discipline will never make us feel righteous or clean; accepting God's love will." and that's the point, we need to accept God's grace because we are not over it.

But going straight to the book, many of us would think that if it's a book focused on christianity then it would be something of a sermon that you would hear in an church, but in fact it's totally the opposite, more like a long time friend telling you about his life and experiences with God. So if you are in the mood to have a good cup of coffe in the morning or at night and spend a while reflectioning about life and your relationship with God, then it's a good option to read.

I thank Ellen for this recommendation and I'll write as soon as I finish reading that amazing book to further my toughts on this one.

For anyone who might be interested in getting the book, you might get it here.

You can find my friend's blog on We've got the World at our feet

The song is:

Just a Test

Se supone que esto es un blog... No creo que nadie lo lea